Google Perks
Google topped the list of Fortune's 100 Best Companies to Work For recently due at least in part to its huge set of employee perks. I've always had my doubts about this list (since it fails to include any small companies which have by far the most upside and often great perks), but even in comparing huge organizations, who really has the best perks: Google or your local state prison? Lets see:
| Perk | PMITA Prison | Score | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Meals | Free Meals | Free Meals | Tie |
| Laundry | Dry cleaning service; On site washers & dryers | Free laundry AND free clothes! | +2 Prison |
| Shuttles | Conveniently timed free shuttles to / from campus | Free rides on very secure buses anywhere you need to go when you need to go. | +1 Prison |
| Dating | Intraoffice dating allowed | Intraprison dating protects you from HIV / being raped. | +1 Prison |
| Cars | On site oil changes and car washes | No parking for residents (not that you'd need it). | +2 Google |
| Haricuts | On site | On site and free | +1 Prison |
| Referal Bonuses | $2000 for each hire | 'Referring' other prisoners to the warden for broken rules (snitching) may reduce your sentence, but at great personal risk | +1 Google |
| Fitness | On site gym; Subsidized exercise classes | On site gym; Free fitness time | tie |
| Health | Five on site doctors | An on site hospital | +1 Prison |
| Entry / Hiring | Hiring by committee; Takes weeks to months | Entry by jury's verdict; Guaranteed speedy, fair trial | +1 Prison |
| Pets | Dogs welcome on site | If you're in Texas you'll have free access to well trained dogs. | tie |
| Library | Free use of the bookmobile: a rolling library | Free books delivered to your cell. | +1 Prison |
| Job Security | If you fail your performance review, you are fired | If you fail to impress the parole board, you must stay | tie |
| Edukaton | $8000 per year towards a relevant degree. | Free GED and community college courses on site! | +1 Prison |
| Local Transport | Segways and scooters conveniently placed around campus (although limited in availability) | You must walk, often in cuffs and chains. | +1 Google |
| Free Time | 20% of your work hours can be spent on any manager approved project. | About 70% of your time is free to do anything, as long as you can do it in your cell. | +1 Prison |
| Total | +6 Prison |
There you have it. If you're really after perks, you should be considering a major crime rather than applying to Google. It's a lot easier and much faster (as long as you plead guilty).
Disclaimer: I honestly have nothing against Google (other than working for their competitor), but they're fun to tease and they drive some rather entertaining search queries to my blog.
Update: Thanks to all the response from googlers that gave me some additional aspects to compare.
Comments
How clever! I've always joked that free lunch for Google visitors was a ploy to get outsiders to participate in their employ visitation program, but you've taken the metaphor to the next level!
Posted by: Winona | March 1, 2007 6:35 PM